For such a common condition, it seems there is very little clear information out there about what anxiety is, and what it isn’t. Anxiety myths abound.
Having been through more than 30 years of suffering from it, and come out the other side to recovery, I have some very strong opinions about what is truth and what is myth. Here are some common myths with the truth explained.
Anxiety is a Mental Illness – MYTH
The phrase “mental illness” is a loaded term. By applying it to anxiety we lump being anxious in with all sorts of more serious conditions for which the label is appropriate. Anxiety itself is a condition, a state of mind. It is caused by a sequence of thought patterns that have become ingrained and habitual, and are therefore difficult to change. But that is all it really is – a pattern of thinking – something that can be changed.
We didn’t contract some mental illness. What happened is that at some point in our life when we experienced some anxiety, we reacted a certain way or experienced a certain symptom, and then we began to fear that unpleasant reaction/symptom. As a result we began to fear our anxiety itself (second fear). The fear of the anxiety then caused an increase in the intensity of our anxiety. This made the symptoms, even more unpleasant, further increasing our fear of the anxiety.
Each trip around the fear-anxiety-fear loop raised our level of sensitization until we were firmly embedded in the anxiety state. The more we struggled to avoid anxiety or to get out of this loop, the worse our anxiety became, until it virtually took over our thoughts and our lives.
Anxiety is like quicksand, the more we struggle the deeper we sink. Our instinctive reactions make things worse, and that is why we tend to remain in the state. It’s not that we are mentally ill, we are just suffering from anxiety and unable to find our way out. That’s it.
Anxiety is Incurable – MYTH
Anxiety can be incredibly unpleasant, frightening, persistent, and resistant to our attempts to recover. However, the idea it is incurable is one of the common anxiety myths. In reality anxiety is nothing more than a condition of the way we think – and one that can be changed once we know how.
Much of the traditional medical approach to anxiety is to treat the symptoms. While this may offer some relief (for a time anyway), it is NOT a cure. It does nothing to change our underlying thinking – which is the source of our anxiety and is what keeps it going.
Most times I sought help, my doctor prescribed tranquilizers and/or antidepressants. He informed me that, because of the persistent nature of my anxiety and depression, I would need to be on these medications for the rest of my life.
Well, that simply wasn’t true. By changing the way I thought about my anxiety, and the way I reacted to it, I have come completely off the tranquilizers and antidepressants, and fully recovered.
Furthermore, I know my recovery is permanent because I have since been through some very difficult life situations without issue. While I experienced appropriate levels of stress and anxiety under the circumstances, it did not escalate or hang around after the situations were resolved. These experiences did not lead to the return of the anxiety state.
We Can Just “Snap Out of” the Anxiety State – MYTH
Those that don’t suffer from anxiety and don’t understand anxiety may may believe that we should just “get over it” or “pull our socks up”, as though anxiety is just a lack of effort on our part. This is a very damaging anxiety myth as it reinforces our belief it is our fault that we can’t recover, and adds to our shame.
But as any anxiety sufferer will tell you, it is not for lack of effort that we remain anxious. If it was possible to “snap out of it” we would have. The truth is that we simply don’t have the right tools, the right approach.
Recovery does not, and can not, happen by snapping our fingers. There is no quick fix; it takes consistent practice over time to change the thought patterns that cause the anxiety.
Anxiety Suffering is a Sign of Weakness – MYTH
As anxiety sufferers we often think of ourselves as weak, flawed or broken. But we’re not. Anxiety can strike anyone; it doesn’t reflect on our character whatsoever. Those that don’t suffer from anxiety and don’t understand anxiety may view anxious people as weak, but this comes from ignorance and judgment, not from truth.
As someone who suffered for decades, I know how much effort it takes to live that way. I struggled to get out of the anxiety state, and struggled to function effectively in the world. Now that I am recovered, I have a much easier time. I know that anxiety sufferers work far harder than non-sufferers. I view them as some of the strongest people on earth.
So why then do we have such a low opinion of ourselves as sufferers? I think we probably already had low self esteem, but when we failed again and again to get out of the anxiety state, our inability to recover added to our feelings of shame. We adopted the prevalent view in society that we should be able to overcome anxiety by sheer force of will. When we were not able to do so, we beat ourselves up mercilessly.
If effort is all it took, I would have recovered years ago! I would have fought my way out shortly after descending into the anxiety state, instead of struggling unsuccessfully for decades. Recovering from anxiety takes some specific knowledge and a lot of practice to change the way we think about anxiety, and the way we react/respond to it. Without that, we are destined to remain anxious, or to keep cycling in and out of the anxiety state.
My Anxiety is Different – MYTH
Anxiety sufferers often develop the belief that our particular strain of anxiety is different than anyone else’s. Specifically we tend to think that it is worse, more unusual & likely incurable. This of course is just the Voice of Fear creating doom and gloom thinking.
With millions of anxiety sufferers worldwide, we are far from unique. It’s just that few of us talk about our suffering, so all we see is everybody else carrying on “normally” while we suffer in silence. The truth is that many people are suffering in silence while going through exactly the same experience as us.
Furthermore, however anxiety manifests, whatever symptoms we suffer, the thought patterns are essentially identical to those of every other sufferer. For this reason we gain nothing by analyzing our symptoms, because it doesn’t tell us anything useful. It also does not lead us to recovery; it just feeds the fear that we have some uniquely terrible form of anxiety.
Rest assured, you are just like everyone else who suffers in the anxiety state. You react to anxious thoughts and feelings with fear. You add second fear and fight to get rid of the feelings, ramping up your reaction even further. All you need to do is learn a different way of responding to anxiety. That’s it!