Dr. Claire Weekes the founder of the acceptance approach to anxiety recovery was very clear about the need to let time pass. She explained anxiety itself, and how we need to change our thinking and be willing to accept our symptoms. But she also made it clear up front that it takes time for this “new understanding to bear fruit.”
With every anxiety sufferer I have coached, I have observed how impatience with the pace of progress interferes with the recovery process. It is natural that having suffered so horribly, and for so long, there is a huge desire to see an immediate reduction in symptoms.
But this isn’t how recovery from anxiety works. True recovery requires us to change some of our habitual thinking. Changing thinking habits takes practice, repetition, and time. Simple as that. In fact, symptoms can seem to increase in the first few days and weeks as we turn and face them properly, perhaps for the first time.
And recovery progress is not linear. So, we mustn’t allow ourselves to become discouraged when we have a period of increased struggle or suffering. We just need to keep practicing, without expectations, and let time pass.
As Dr. Weekes said: “It can’t be done in a day, it’s like climbing a greasy pole: you go up 2 feet and you fall down 1 foot so that is going to take time isn’t it?”
Recovery Takes Time
There is no way around the fact that recovery is a journey. And journeys take time. So, we may as well know this, and accept it, right from the start.
It is very common for an anxiety sufferer to have short term goal in mind. They decide they are going to practice intensely because they want to be recovered in two weeks, in time for their vacation, or in a month so that they are anxiety-free for a wedding.
This is almost guaranteed to fail for a couple of reasons. Firstly, the added time pressure actually ramps up anxiety, releasing more adrenaline, and making the anxiety worse. Secondly, the focus is on getting rid of the symptoms, whereas recovery requires us to learn how to allow and accept our symptoms – the exact opposite.
Recovery will take as long as it takes.
Pushing hard for a quick recovery or putting a timeframe on recovery is counterproductive. Anxiety simply doesn’t work like that, and no amount of effort or determination is going to change that reality. Recovery does not follow a timetable. It will take as long as it is going to take, different for each of us, but almost certainly much longer than you would want it to. This is why patience and letting time pass is so crucial for your recovery.
I understand how hard it is to accept that it will take time (believe me, I went through it myself), but that is what you must do. It is going to take time anyway whether you accept it or not, so, rather than fight that reality, it serves you better to just shrug and accept that is the way it is.
Let time pass willingly. Each day, just congratulate yourself on another day of practice, and that you are one day closer to recovery. Rinse and repeat.
How Long Will Recovery Take?
It isn’t possible to predict how long recovery will take – it varies from person to person. But even for the fastest recoveries we’re talking months, not days or weeks. There is an old saying: “Good things come to those who wait.” This is certainly true for recovery from anxiety.
We live in a world where we expect instant results. We are also told from a young age to push hard for what we want. This works for some things but not for healing from the anxiety state.
Healing anything can take time. It cannot be forced. Recovery from illness takes time. Recovery from the loss of someone close to you takes time. Our minds and bodies must adapt, adjust and become accustomed to something new or different, and consolidate that change.
If you broke your leg you wouldn’t expect to be up and running again in a couple of days. You would accept that it’s going to take time. You need to do the same with anxiety. Step out of the way of the healing process, and let it unfold in its own time. Practice, and let time pass.
Let Recovery Come to You
A I said, changing how our mind works simply takes time; and our willingness to accept that and let time pass determines to a great extent how easily we will get there. The more we kick and scream and try to force recovery on our schedule, the more we will energize and maintain our agitation and anxiety. The more we are able to shrug and accept recovery unfolding in its own time, the easier and sooner it will arrive.
Practice, practice, practice. And let time pass.
